"Mais, il n'y a rien ici..."

Recently, it seems as though I have had an inordinate number of conversations/situations which have caused me to start really thinking about life in the country as opposed to my ‘former’ life which has largely been spent in major cities.

It all came to a head the week before half term when I went to Badminton as usual (it’s ‘cause I’m serious about sport, yeah) and ended up staying late after being roped into a final match. As we were leaving - sweaty, disgusting and defeated - there was a little gathering in the reception of the sports hall as it had been Caroline’s birthday (the youngest looking 30-year old I have ever seen) the week before. Very kindly, and in tune with the French tradition of giving people things when it is YOUR birthday (so weird), she had brought along some juice, wine, tarte aux pommes for a wee post-badders celebration. Not only was it a welcome change to chat to people I usually just flail about the court beside, the evening actually revealed a lot about life in Sarlat, and the great variation in opinion about notre belle ville. For once, the ‘life in Sarlat’ conversation wasn’t actually directed at me, but at one of the other girls (phew). Originally from Pau (about 4 hours drive South of the Dordogne), she is now a EPS teacher (Education Physique et Sportive) at College la Boitie, Sarlat. Forced to complete a year of training here, she revealed that she absolutely detests life here. Although Pau is no metropolis, with 85 000 inhabitants it is still 8 times more populated than Sarlat. She expressed her astonishment at how ‘little there is to do’ here; how she has found that it is near impossible to even go out for a meal between the months of November and February; how even the roads reflect the state of affairs – no sooner do you pass the ‘Bienvenue en Dordogne’ sign that the white lines disappear, the potholes start appearing, and you are more often than not held up by a stray herd of cows on the road.

Soon everyone was involved, and it ended up with the hors-Dordogne ‘foreigners’ (me included) against the born and bred Sarladais. Most amusing was hearing the postcode wars; 64 (Pau/Pyrenees-Atlantiques) vs. 24 (Dordogne) with 33 (Bordeaux) and 65 (Hautes-Pyrenees) thrown in for good measure. It was all in extremely good taste and humour and not a dark word was passed between the two ‘sides’, but it was very interesting to hear everyone’s opinion, and to see the large divergence between ‘town’ and ‘countryside’ attitude. Although we didn’t reach a conclusion as such, it was generally agreed that if you are raised here, you will undoubtedly have relationships, links and in short, a life here, which is absolutely essential if you wish to avoid a seriously depressing séjour. I completely understand what they mean – having had an extremely difficult time au début with living alone, struggling with the language, struggling to find friends slash human contact as the town all but shut down in the winter, and being miles away from friends and family. The girl from Pau (definitely don’t know her name... shame on me) was right in one way, there really is nothing to do here in divertissiments, but that reflects one (superficial) level of life. Yes there may be a dearth of restaurants, bars, nightclubs, concerts... but there is certainly no shortage of a huge community feeling, relations and (excuse the cliché) general goodwill, humour, and helpfulness between the Sarladais. And here, as in life anywhere, it is these things that actually matter.

Escaping into the night with my head swimming with thoughts of friends, family, home, priorities, town, and countryside, the subsequent journey home seems remarkably fitting. The centre is a good 15 minutes drive from La Croix d’Allon, yet the roads were so deserted that I didn’t once have to turn my full beam off having encountered no other cars. Arriving home, I switched the engine off and got out the car to complete silence and a bath of inky blackness around me. This is a kind of pitch-black darkness that I don’t think I have ever experienced before; far from the pseudo-dark orange glow that I am so used to in Edinburgh or Manchester. Looking up, the sky was plastered with thousands of stars, each startlingly bright against the jet-black sky. I must admit, I had to stop for a moment to revel in the darkness, silence and the seeming remote isolation of the place. Sure Sarlat might not have a Subway on every corner, nor are Plump DJ’s scheduling a quick visit in their next tour, but occasionally, it does manage to arouse genuine feelings of appreciation and awe... definitely not a bad thing. 

Joyeux Anniversaire .. un mois en retard

Although it doesn't seem that long ago that we were dining on mince pies and singing about Père Noel, it is, in fact, half term. Already.

And, as the French manage to do just about everything with full-blooded Gallic enthusiasm, we have a whole two weeks off, a far cry from the meagre two days that most Scottish school kids are treated to. Thus, I have just returned from spending a couple of days at home, nipping up to Perth, briefly flying through Manchester, and partying a little too hard in Wales. As well as being treated to seeing friends and family (wonderful yes yes blah blah)  I am now happily in possession of an enormous number of photos, having hijacked Celyn's (finally fixed) computer.

That was the real reason I went home, obv. So, quickie quickie quickly, here are the missing ones from the past month. You know, there was the rugby in Toulouse...

Dragons - Toulouse scrum

Panoramic view of the stadium

Getting ready for a line out

Place de la Capitole in town

Wine bar - smallest glasses EVER
(you can see one that the guy on the right is holding. Seriously.. so small!)

Having a wee drink with Newport Dragon Nathan Brew. No idea who the guy behind is!

Nathan and his 'fro

Cel and Wayne Evans

Place du Capitol in the daylight. Hippie commune camp behind .. 

Church of the Jacobins

Carousel at Jardin Goudouli

And then my actual birthday...

Au bord de la Dordogne

Cel's mitts

Walking near Les Eyzies

Micoque.. haaaa!

Attempt #5000 with self-timer

Le repas de l'anniversaire

Dining on the Dordogne

It was only because we forgot glasses!

Playing with Cel's camera and the amazing late afternoon sun

Recognise this 'glass of wine' Bomp? (haaa camera trickery!)

"Now I'm 22 I must be mature..."

Una pizza con molto anchooviees..!

Birthday biscuits - thanks Alaina!

 And the rest of the week that Celyn stayed at mine...

Being tourists in Sarlat

That's my front door yo

Behind the cathedral in Sarlat

Poorest excuse for a roundabout EVER

“What do you call a man named Cliff? ... Oh wait, Cliff...!”

Once again, in a stereotypically chronological-confused style, here is a brief word about my weekend spent with my lovely younger sister, Fiona, and her best friend Eliza. It has been a long time coming a) because I was once again waiting for the photos (just a little sly shift of the blame there) and b) because the repercussions of that weekend were pretty fierce re: major fights with my (now former) landlords.

Now that the propriétaire fiasco is but a distant memory, I can once again indulge on what was an extremely funny visit from Fiona and Eliza. Arriving the day after Celyn left (perfect timing!), the girls had only really decided to come out to France the week or so before. Despite being a little lastminute.com it all worked really well.

Train Edinburgh London. Hotel. Flight London Bordeaux. Bus airport train station. Train Bordeaux Le Buisson. Bus Le Buisson Sarlat.

I am eternally grateful to the girls for managing to make it in one piece (just) all the way to Sarlat, a major achievement in itself. It was such a treat to have guests and not have to worry about driving across the country to pick them up. However, their arrival happened to coincide almost exactly with my violin concert, which turned out to be not quite what they were expecting. Instead of a concert hall, audience, programmes and all the other frills one would usually anticipate, it actually took place in Sophie’s house on the outskirts of Sarlat, with a roaring fire, a motley collection of chairs, stools and cushions for the ‘audience’ (average age about 10) to sit on, and a slap-up meal afterwards. It was great fun though, and the ‘violinists’ played extremely well – however, I don’t think I (or the girls for that matter) will really be able to listen to Twinkle-Twinkle in the same way ever again.

We made our excuses and peeled off early in order to head back to my [dutty] bedsit for some dinner and perhaps a little too much wine. Sunday, another gorgeous day, was spent wandering the streets of medieval Sarlat and marvelling upon just how difficult it was to find somewhere to have a cup of coffee. Thanks to Dad, we were able to go out for dinner on Sunday night and, in his honour, went to old favourite Les Tulipes for some kir and pannenkoeken. As a matter of fact, much of the weekend revolved around eating and sleeping. As two hard-working (ahem) first-year students, it seemed as though the girls had a little bit of sleep deprivation to rectify, and there is no where better to do it than in a rural French town in the late winter months. Unfortunately, a few disputes with the landlords cast a bit of a shadow over the stay, but as a matter of fact seemed to bother me a lot more than they. As ever, Fiona and Eliza remained completely unfazed by the fact that in two days, we collectively got into more trouble than I had ever experienced in the previous four months. Cheers guys!

Eliza and Fiona (and Jasmeena?) in the sty. Matching jumpers

Our phenomenally abstemious Saturday soiree



Explanation of academia vs school teaching



Getting ready for dinner on Sunday

Les Tulipes

Watching 'The Switch'... agaain

The girls in Sarlat's main square

Anyone for bread? Cheese? Ham? More ham? More cheese?

In total, it was a wonderful weekend of laughing, family guy, protein, wine, really badly told punchline-less jokes, trivial pursuit, Petit Prince biscuits, homemade packs of cards, and sleep. Thanks so much Fiona and Eliza for making the effort and coming out – I absolutely adored it.

“I like to eat, eat, eat...”

Having spent the last couple of weeks on a ‘Buying Fruits’ series of lessons with many of my classes, the past few days have seen the culmination of the module i.e. Role Play ‘Going to the Shops’ including fruits, dialogue, and ohmigosh real live British money.

Despite the role play being carried out by many varying ages and capabilities they have all contained an unbelievably high degree of hilarity. I have had so much fun with the classes in the past few weeks, that I thought I would share some of the best bits.

Some classes treated the ‘shop dialogue’ with amazing enthusiasm, setting up and laying out all the fruits in their ‘shop’, making money to pay with, putting on airs and accents, and giving out bags to customers. It was great to see them so enthusiastic about something, and they really loved the idea of having to actually buy something with money. By the end of the lesson, paper coins and notes of all shapes, sizes and colours were flying around the classroom, along with cheques for extortionate amounts and great wadges of ‘bank’ cards (slash shiny Pokémon cards being used as Visa Carte Bleu). Unfortunately, it was in this class that some groups got a little too excited, and in one case there was a fight over who was going to be the vendeur/vendeuse, culminating in a three-boys-against-one-girl shouting match. In another there was a mini-punch up in the queue to the grocery – obviously although we were speaking in English, British queuing rules did not apply. One group was absolutely exemplary, setting out their fruits, speaking impeccable English, paying with coloured in gold coins and, I discovered at the end, each possessing their own ‘cheque book’ to buy the fruits with.

A little love note from two of my CM1's - now sitting proudly on my fridge

On another occasion, whilst passing round some of my British pecuniary shrapnel (“Yes I do want it back. Yes it is real money.”), an Occitan pupil (and budding violinist!) asked in all seriousness, “When you’re here, do you use pounds instead of Euros? Do they take them at Leclerc?” Not going to lie, to this day he still believes I’m the only person cruising round Sarlat with a bunch of tenners and fifty p’s in my purse.

At Temniac school, I was reprimanded by the CE2/CM1teacher, Annie, as she has been unable to get the irritatingly memorable song ‘I like to eat Apples and Bananas’ out of her head for the past two weekends. Even after a long discussion with all the other teachers in the freezing playground at mid-afternoon break; she still went back to her classroom with that damned tune stuck in her head. In fact, that song has slightly got me into trouble, as one pupil came up and to check whether he could ask for ‘banoonoos’ in the shop. No, that is just in the song – they do not actually exist.

Although each class has actually worked really hard, and there are some very good English speakers amongst them, it is pretty funny sitting back and watching them ‘order their groceries’ in English:

“Can aye aave fife appol, choo oran-je, aay wan grapes.  Plis. How mash ees eet?”

 “Waan Pooo-nds, et five-ty pens.”

....

“Thankoogoodbye” “Thankoogoodbye”.

Not going to correct them mid-flow. I know they’re in character! 

Seriously. So funny.

Bullet For My Valentine?

Before you ask, no I don't like Valentine's Day. It's a major waste of time, effort, money and energy and only really succeeds in either making you feel worthless, or that the rest of the world has gone mad. Come February, I'd much rather skip straight from the 13th to the 15th without all the pink confetti, chubby cupids and sickly sweet love songs. I know this is blatantly the cry of the bitter, but seriously, the less said about bloomin' Valentine's Day, the better.

However, having been commissioned to write a piece on 'Valentine's Day Adventures For Couples', (the assignment actually read 'fun, interesting, off-beat suggestions - romantic yet adventurous'. 'Scuse me while I vom) I have had to just suck it up and go all gloopy in the name of Saint Valentine.

So here it is, keep an eye on the WideWorld website (www.wideworldmag.com) in the next week or two for the real deal!

*****
VALENTINE'S DAY ADVENTURE BREAKS


It is a well known fact that Valentine’s Day is a holiday guaranteed to polarize; adored by some, abhorred by others. Perceived by many as little more than yet another commercial card-company scam designed to raise our blood pressure, empty our pockets, and deepen our self-loathing, it is with much trepidation that both singles and couples approach the 14^th February.

There is little doubt that, as a subscriber to this magazine, when it comes to the day of the legendary Italian, the heart of any WideWorld reader is far more likely to be donning a helmet, harness, and walking boots and heading out for some sort of adventure rather than fussing about restaurant bookings and bouquets of flowers.

So if awaiting the encroaching date with about as much enthusiasm as a mountain biker on a motorway here are a couple of slightly more adventurous ideas to get you started. With any luck, these will beat the cheesy stereotypes and give you far more than awkward restaurant conversation, overpriced and already wilting roses, and a dubiously authentic Spanish violinist called Pedro bent on standing just behind your shoulder playing the Romeo and Juliet Love Theme on repeat:

1.      Mush Better - Scandinavian Husky Adventures

How about getting right back to basics, and sampling life in some of the most sparsely populated regions of Scandinavia? Not only will you and your loved one find yourselves plunged into wilderness far from the rat-race, these holidays will also equip you with some essential skills necessary to survive in such remote terrain.

In Sami capital Karasjok, nestled in the heart of the Norwegian Lapland, any dog lover will be enraptured as couples are treated to some of the best dog sledding safaris in the world. Crossing fjords, spending nights in isolated log cabins on barren ice plateaus, and riding alongside the Arctic Ocean, this is. Despite being pulled by a fairytale husky sleigh, this is by no means for the faint-hearted as the holiday will take you right into the remotest parts of the windswept wintery desert.

Experiencing individually designed and self-contained log cabins, remote wilderness cabins and the famous Sorrisniva Igloo Hotel, which is exactly what it says on the tin. Although viewing the famous Aurora Borealis isn’t guaranteed, you are certainly in for a stargazing treat as ink black skies present the perfect canvas for an impressive astrological display. 

Other activities include snow shoeing, kick sledding, snowmobile rides, reindeer safaris, and real Scandinavian saunas.

For more information on this and other wintry adventures in Scandinavia, see http://www.activitiesabroad.com/page/hands-on-adventures

2.      Get Your Running Shoes On

Having trouble shifting that spare tyre after the festive season? Why not break a sweat and inject a little competitive spirit into your Valentine’s Day by running a race with your other half? As luck would have it, charity races, half-marathons and fun-runs abound all in the name of our beloved St Valentine. It is a well known fact that exercise releases all those endorphins that’ll leave you loved up and wanting more. Why not have a bash as, after all, there is nothing less sexy than witnessing your better half kitted out in short-shorts and a vest, gasping for breath as sweat runs down their beetroot face.

Here are the top picks of that’ll are sure to get you out of bed and in the mood for some strenuous exercise. Cupid’s Chase, the national 5K run, takes place on the same day and at the same time in 24 cities throughout the United States. Raising money for Community Options Inc., a not-for-profit organisation that develops community-based homes and employment support for people with disabilities, you and valentine can burn some of that latent energy in collecting money, training and running, all in the name of a good cause.

For something a little shorter, yet somewhat more ‘exposed’, try Cupid’s Undie Run in Washington DC. Competitors run around the US Capitol in nothing more than their underwear in order to raise money for The Children’s Tumour Foundation. See if you and your partner have got what it takes to strip off and quite literally jog on.

For more information on the above and others charity races see

 http://www.comop.org/cupidschase/,

http://www.cupidsundierun.com/,

http://search.active.com/search?f=activities&l=everywhere&m=meta:endDate:daterange:today..&k=valentine's+day&v=list

3.      Samba Sensation – Carnaval Brazil Festival

If you are a couple who just love to boogie, then the Carnaval Brazil Festival is right up your street. Although sometimes falling a little later than Valentine’s Day (depending on dates of Easter), the Carnaval is a last-gasp celebration before Brazil locks down for the duration of lent. With a hell of a lot of celebrating, eating, drinking, and dancing to do, this is a perfect opportunity to let your hair down, enjoy the music, and shake that thang.

Rio, Salvador de Bahia and Olinda are renowned for the best Carnaval atmosphere, with streets full of dancers, music, costumes, and road-side munch. The Rio Carnaval is a flamboyant four-day affair, with the whole city taking partIf worried about your dancing skills next to the Brazilian best, head to one of the hundreds of Samba Schools in each city before the Carnaval itself. That way, you and your partner can don you dancing shoes and really enjoy the meticulously prepared yet fantastically vibrant culminating Samba Parade.

For more information, visit http://www.rio-carnival.net/

4.      Light Up Your Life – the PingXi Lantern Festival

For something a little bit different, yet no less adventurous nor less romantic, head to the mountain village of Shrfen in Taiwan to see in the Chinese New Year.  Normally a sleepy little town, come the turning of the New Year, thousands of people flock to PingXi to celebrate the celebrated lantern festival.

A legendary tradition, Chinese lanterns first came into being during the Ching Dynasty when Taiwanese locals, fleeing from bands of outlaws, sought refuge in the nearby mountains. The village watchmen would use the lanterns to inform the residents that it was safe for them to return to their homes. Today, the lanterns are used to send hopes and prayers to the gods, and festival goers write their wishes on giant paper lanterns before releasing them into the sky when the sun goes down.

What more could you want than to stand hand in hand with your loved one watching thousands of flickering paper lanterns glide gracefully into the night sky?

For more information, on the PingXi Lantern Festival, see www.lonelyplanet.com

5.      Fly Away With Me – Hot Air Balloon Safaris in Africa

Despite tending a little more towards the soppy side of Valentine’s Day, treating your loved one to a Hot Air Balloon Safari is still a far cry from a box of milk tray and breakfast in bed. Share the experience of a life time and take to the skies in a Hot Air Balloon Safari for a truly unique and inspiring way to view the world.

The early rising may not sound very appealing, but soaring above the Serengeti as it wakes is an experience like no other. Surrounded by complete silence, punctuated by the occasional blast of the balloons powerful burners as well as faint calls from wild animals and birds below, you will feel as though you are literally on top of the world. The experienced balloon pilots can precisely control the altitude of the balloon, gracefully moving from treetop height to 1000feet or more, offering incomparable panoramic views.

With a champagne toast after landing taken as standard, followed by an ‘Out of Africa’ breakfast, this is adventure, luxury, and romance all bundled into one.

Hot Air Balloon Safaris can be found in Kenya, Tanzania, and South Africa. For more information, see http://www.balloonsafaris.com/

6.      Beating the Chill – Caving, Canyoning and Ice Fishing in Canada

Renowned for its extreme winters, Canada presents the perfect opportunity for all Snow Queens and Jack Frosts to indulge in some icy adventures. With sub-zero temperatures freezing the canyons, caves and crevasses in the regions of Banff, Lake Louise, and Jasper in Alberta, travellers are able to access areas that wholly inaccessible in the warmer months. Hand and hand with your other half, you can climb the glacéd canyon walls and walk across giant sheets of ice that joining one magnificent rock formation to another.

Whilst in Canada’s winter wonderland, try your hand at ice fishing. When else do you get the chance to step onto a frozen lake, drill a hole in the iced water, insert a fishing line and (potentially) hook yourself a prize catch? Head just north of Toronto onto Lake Simcoe and sit aside seasoned professionals in the icy wilderness as you marvel at the breathtaking scenery, remote isolation, and unrivalled peace and quiet. A few moments of calm will allow you to catch up on all those lost moments with your other half, and if that doesn’t do it for you, you can always push them into the icy waters when no one is looking! Other top fishing spots include lakes in Alberta, Manitoba, Ontario, British Colombia and Quebec.

For more information on Canadian adventures, see www.lonelyplanet.com

7.      Heli-Skiing in the Caucaus

It can be little clichéd to take your loved one on the so-called ‘adventure of a lifetime’  and merely pop them on an  EasyJet flight to an extortionately expensive yet painfully mediocre Alpine ‘paradise’ for a couple of bang average ski-runs, a few runny cheese fondues and a hell of a lot of grumpy Italian tourists. Why not try something a little different, a little more glamorous, and far more adventurous by sampling the world of Heliskiing? With endless descents, pristine pistes, unspoiled snowscapes, and a healthy dose of adrenaline, this makes for the Valentine’s Day of a lifetime.

Although Chamonix, the Swiss Valleys and Val Veny in Italy are renowned for Heli-skiing, it is also possible to head a little further afield to the Caucasus, where you have the chance to ski in the 1,350km long mountain range separating Russia and Abkhazia at its westernmost extremity. Yak and Yeti Tours take skiers to Russia’s Krasnaya Poliana resort, where non-glacial terrain, sheltered pistes and breathtaking scenery make for an unforgettable skiing experience. The close proximity to the Black Sea makes for an inimitable level of perfect powder snow cover, a real skiers paradise.

For more information, go to http://heliski.yak-yeti.com/index.php

8.      Leap of Love – Bungee Jumping

Share the ultimate adrenaline rush with your other half and try a double bungee jump. Couples are strapped together, and take the plunge as a duo, wrapped in an embrace they’ll never forget. Head to the stunning Haute Savoie for the ‘Love Jump’ at St Jean de Sixt, where you really will feel your heart in your mouth. Or pop across the channel for true test of faith with a bungee jump in Berkshire, UK. Leaping lovers can treat themselves to a Valentine’s Day deal which includes a post-jump bottle of champagne as a reward for your bravery (or insanity)!

For the really wild, check out the Valentine’s Day festivities in Nanaimo, Canada. As the centrepiece of the annual ‘Naked Weekend’ celebrations, couples are invited to bare all and leap over 140 feet together above the ice-cold water below. This is certainly not for the fearful, nor for the easily embarrassed! Although it will no doubt inject some serious excitement into your relationship on Valentine’s Day.

9.      Get on Your Bike - Cycling in Vietnam

If you really what to get to know a country, the best way is to do as the locals do! Famed for its two-wheelers, the best way to discover the stunning scenery, bustling villages and awe-inspiring monuments of Vietnam is by bike.

Perfect for ‘athletic beginners’, you and your partner will be kitted out with Trek 4500 bikes and, with a daily average distance of about 24 miles, will make your way from Hanoi through the rolling Vietnamese countryside to former Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh).  Not only will you experience the bustling city life in Vietnam, you will also be able to relish the beauty of the pearl white beaches, mountain hill towns and the many mythical temples en route.  

The trip includes traditional water puppet performances, visits to the famous Cu Chi tunnels where Vietcong guerrillas sought sanctuary, and a boat trip and snorkel to the Coral Islands. There is also an opportunity to stick around for an extra four-day tour of Angkor Wat, Cambodia.

For more information, see http://www.trustedadventures.com/

10.  Dublin for my Valentine

How about celebrating Saint Valentine himself and heading to Dublin, where the relics of the patron saint of love are kept. Received by Whitefriar Street Church, Dublin, from Pope Gregory XVI in 1836, the church has long been a pilgrimage for all lovers wishing to celebrate their affection. A special venerating service is held on Valentine’s Day itself and the church holds a special ‘blessing of rings’ ceremony for couples wishing to marry.

There’s plenty more to see and do in and around the city itself, although if on the hunt for an adrenaline rush with your other half, spend a day at the Golden Moments’ Rock Climbing and Abseiling Experience. Get out into the Irish countryside and feel the physical and mental thrill of climbing some of Ireland’s most scenic spots. Put your trust in your loved one as together you climb sheer rock faces before being treated to spectacular panoramic views. With trained instructors, this experience is perfect for complete beginners right through to old-time climbers.

For more information, see www.goldenmoments.ie

******

Also, as a rather sad postlude, Celyn's family dog, Nero, passed away completely out of the blue last week. A four year old German Shepherd, Nero was a major part of the Thomas family and will be very sadly missed. As neither a major pet nor dog fan, I can genuinely vouch for what a great dog Nero was and am brutally aware of how much his absence will be felt.